dear pregnant siobhan…
I see you.
You’ve imagined becoming a mother for a long time and now it’s happening. You can’t wait to meet your baby, but the thought of giving birth and becoming a mother makes your chest and throat tighten.
You’re anticipating the joy, but you can’t help but mourn the end of life as you’ve known it. The thought of giving birth is terrifying; the stories steeped in trauma. You know there are other ways out there, but you don’t have the energy or confidence to advocate for yourself against the sea of voices saying, “just listen to the doctors.”
Each checkup, you nod along, sometimes confused but afraid to be the difficult patient. People ask you, “So are you ready to become a mama?!” and while your excitement is genuine, you hear the insecurity in your voice. Aunties joke about the pain of childbirth and the sacrifices of motherhood, but you can hear the grief in the deep sighs between their laughter. You notice every conversation seems to come back to babies & motherhood, and you can’t help but want to resist this reluctant rebrand because you’re so more than that. Deep down inside, you wish this all looked different.
You desire a birth experience that is intentional and sacred. You wish there was someone to help you navigate all these confusing systems and policies. You long for a community that will trust your intuition and hold you through your fears and curiosities without projecting their own trauma from their birth experiences. And the truth is, you can have all of those things.
Your life is not ending, you are emerging as the next version of yourself. Listen to what your intuition’s been saying all along: the mainstream does have it wrong. Your ancestors did not always suffer through this experience. All you need is to trust yourself and seek the support of a community that is fighting to reimagine motherhood along with you. It already exists.
Forging a different path may be met with challenges, systemic and personal, but do it anyways. In fact, you must. You can’t pour from an empty cup and you are about to have a whole other human relying on that cup to fill them each day. So please, fill yourself with love, gentleness, authenticity, courage, and all the other qualities that make you YOU and that you want to see grow in your baby. Trust that your community has got your back if you just ask. Remember that you are a divine creator, guided and enveloped in the love of all the mothers who came before you and who walk beside you today. Motherhood looks like however you do it because you’re doing it.
